THE KIELTY KONSIDERATION - August 12, 2022
THE KIELTY KONSIDERATION - August 12, 2022
Well, obviously, “The Donald,” was put off by not getting sufficient attention in the “Kielty Konsideration,” and demanded more attention. Don’t worry, we’ll get to him. My first immediate thought to every dipshit supporter sitting on a John Deere tractor in the middle of a red state who got behind this fake tough guy stance is this: “They even broke into my safe!” Oh, poor princess, they broke your dollhouse looking for things that you illegally took from the White House? Get smart, MAGA, your man is a paper doll. But, let’s get on to my very favorite movie
-I am most certain that I am not the only person who indulges in a yearly summer tradition of watching the original summer movie blockbuster (remember those, before streaming services and residential central air conditioning and surround sound? No? Ask your parents). I am speaking, of course, of Steven Spielberg’s 1975 classic, “Jaws.” At the time it was the highest-grossing film in history and the marketing model that it utilized - a summer release, heavily advertised and shown in thousands of theaters - later was an essential component in 1977’s “Star Wars” eventually overtaking it at the box office. The first major motion picture shot primarily at sea, “Jaws” was fraught with countless production obstacles, not the least of which was the eternally temperamental mechanical shark, “Bruce.”
These challenges inspired Spielberg to alter his initial vision and often effectively substitute the actual shark with its ominous impending presence, further heightened incredibly by composer John Williams’ Academy Award-winning score. For devotees, actor/writer, Carl Gottlieb, who plays newspaper editor, “Meadows,” who at the time had been working on television’s “The Odd Couple,” wrote a must-read account of the production: “The Jaws Log.” Casting the film was no walk on the beach either, with the roles of both, “Quint,” and, “Hooper,” having not been filled a mere none days before the beginning of filming.
“Brody” wasn’t an easy role to nail down. Robert Duvall was offered, “Brody,” he wanted “Quint.” Charlton Heston expressed interest, (“Take that damn dead shark out of my cold dead hands,” is just too easy) and the eventual casting of Roy Scheider made that placement perfect; the New Yorker who didn’t even like “Amity Island.” Lee Marvin and Sterling Hayden both passed on, “Quint.” Even Robert Shaw initially did, later recollecting that his wife and secretary encouraged him, “The last time they were that enthusiastic was ‘From Russia with Love.’ And they were right.” Dreyfuss, suggested to Spielberg by George Lucas - after Jan-Michael Vincent, Kevin Kline, and Jeff Bridges passed- took the role hoping to rebound and resurrect his career after the stone cold, “The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz,”
Please take a moment and imagine a very different film with any of those actors in the roles they either wanted or were offered. Then, do yourself a favor and get a copy of Peter Benchley’s novel, “Jaws.” Read it in a beach chair, read it in your backyard, read it on the subway. Read it paperback, the way that your predecessors did in the 70’s. You will discover subplots that I won’t ruin that the movie doesn’t address, but it’s the absolute perfect summer read. Besides that, reading is just good. You’re reading this, aren’t you?
-It’s always a bit sad to see the shine come off a star. In this day and age, we’re accustomed to seeing celebrated individuals in countless public (and private) professions succumb to the ills of drugs and alcohol, an undeniably sad and tragic situation. What is not so sad are images undone by flat-out fucking greed. Was Woody Guthrie alive he might pen a tune entitled, “How Many Yachts? An Ode To Bruce and Brady.” I am speaking of course of American icons and by all accounts Scrooge McDuck-level greed merchants, Bruce Springsteen and Tom Brady.
For Springsteen perhaps the moniker, “The Boss,” has not only been accepted but finally openly embraced. Late last year, in a movie that seems to guarantee that like his Olympic Silver Medal-winning equestrian daughter, Jessica, (ain’t exactly a Harley, is it? but I digress) Springsteen’s grandchildren’s grandchildren will be attending private schools, by selling his entire catalog to Sony Music for a sum reported to be north of $550M. He was quoted at the time saying, “I’m thrilled that my legacy will continue to be cared for by the company and people I know and trust.” Trust would be the operative word there because an unspoken trust has long been established between Springsteen and his fans, particularly given his legendarily marathon live performances, and if that trust wasn’t broken it was badly bent when ticket prices were mostly in the four-digit range were announced for a world tour beginning in Tampa, FL in February. It has not gone unnoticed, particularly in the sneering jabs of conservative Republicans who have often been the target of Springsteen’s working-class rebukes, that he has been uncharacteristically silent regarding this controversy and even his diehard fans that this is a far move from the pick-up trucks and cans of Budweiser image that put him in this position. Had they been spaced out he might have even have been able to pull it off, but two such glaring money grabs by a voice of the working man within eighteen months is just a monster bad look, and don’t think for a second he didn’t sign off on every detail of both moves. That nickname, “The Boss,” has always meant just that that in every aspect of his career. To quote the man himself, “Poor man wanna be rich, Rich man wanna be king, And a king ain’t satisfied ’til he rules everything.” Nicely played, Bruce.
Brady’s never been burdened with the working class hero tag, the man shilled for Ugg boots for crying out loud and last year was collecting a paycheck from Subway where last I checked avocado ice cream wasn’t on the menu. His common man connection has always been his absolute laser focus on the “Team First” ethos. This is a player who famously took pay cuts to ensure that his New England Patriots march to immortality continues unabated. The ultimate team player… until he wasn’t. It’s been confirmed that before even taking a regular-season snap in his final season with the franchise that defined his career the GOAT was looking for a greener pasture, in communication with the conference rival Miami Dolphins while still under contract in New England. When this was revealed the Dolphins were docked first and third-round draft picks and $1.5 million in tampering violation fines and owner, Stephen Ross was suspended for six games. Brady? Nothing. He must have a real hankering for South Beach though because he tried to get there again, “retiring” from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers with an eye on a potential player/ownership role in Miami this time. Foiled again! Leaving him no choice but to end his sojourn with the AARP set to head back to Tampa, but for good measure he made sure head coach Bruce Arians was canned on his way back in. I am certainly aware and appreciate the essential role Brady played in the six championships that established the once hapless squad as a dynasty but if the disloyalty of actively looking for another gig while you have a pretty high profile as quarterback of the New England Patriots doesn’t smack of “Me First,” then I’m not sure what does.
-Now, at long last, we come to the biggest fucking con-man/liar/scumbag/ex-President on the planet. In our introduction this week, I mentioned it, but for all of his tough guy posturing, it amazes me how often this guy turtles in a pose of, “They’re picking on me! Can you please write me a check? They’re picking on me!”
I just finished, “A Very Stable Genius,” a remarkable account of the Trump administration by Philip Rucker and Carol Leonnig, that takes its title from a self-proclamation by Trump. I imagine when asked by a potential employer what my qualifications might be, responding, “I am a very stable genius!”
When the reasonable response is: “According to who?” I would retort, “Many, many people say so.” Not a single individual. Not one.
This nation did that type of screening. It’s easier to get a job at Burger King, and yet we elected this person the president.
“I’m a very stable genius,”
“Ever worked a fryolator? Or had the nuclear codes? It’s cool, we can teach you.”
The New York charges don’t surprise me. It was just a matter of time, he’s been ass-fucking New York on taxes and accountability for years. If anything, they should be ashamed it took this long. The outrage at being visited by feds in Florida is the comedic part, except that this guy really thought he was above the law and is utterly without shame.
Point blank: Donald J. Trump does not understand the value of the documents he took with him against all established rules and customs of a departing president. Point 1A: he knew only that they had value. This guy ran for office and never understood what he was doing. This is a guy who found a stash of cash under the mattress and pocketed it. A nation of rich guys looking over both shoulders is the way this putz has always operated.
Except: THIS WAS GOVERNMENT SECURITY!!!!
This is despicable but the MAGA crowd IS despicable. These are people calling for the disbanding of the FBI! Not such a loud voice when the FBI investigated Hilary Clinton, but you know, “It has to work for US!” Be smarter. A bunch of rich people and racist hillbillies gave him power, and now the world deals with an idiocy that reasonable people saw coming.
You know, when you abandon your allegiance to a nation and put it behind one person who's repeatedly broken the laws of the nation that once elected him, you're making a choice. Ask Germany how personality over perspective worked. Some might say they are still cleaning up that mess.
Don't apologize to me. Vote smarter.
8-10-12
